Today I want to talk about competition.
Not the sporty kind, or quizzes or board games.
I mean the type of competition to that people create for themselves. Competition of the mind.
Recently I have been unwittingly subject to the notion of competition by a few different people in my industry. That is, I have apparently been in competition with others without even knowing I was involved. And to be quite honest, I am feeling somewhat flummoxed by it all as I am really not that competitive a person (unless it’s a pub quiz or a game of Trivial Pursuit).
In one instance, I found out that a peer wouldn’t work with me on a project because they considered me competition for something else we do. It was a perspective that completely floored me. By pursuing one project I had marked myself as unworkable to some of my peers? It didn’t really make sense to me at all.
Yet, the more I dug around it turned out that there is an insane amount of competition in my industry, in the blogosphere.
It would seem there are some folks who are super-protective over their contacts, secretive about their work, suspicious of any new contacts they make, quick to mark out territory. Some of them are successful in what they do, but they are closely guarded of their work.
All of this is the total antithesis of what I am about and how I have conducted my own work. And as such I keep ending up in situations where I am totally shocked by the way I am treated by a number of my peers.
Why do we need to be suspicious of one another?
Why do we need to be secretive and guarded?
Why do we need to be competitive?
You see, I believe in abundance. I say this at every opportunity I can, whether it is in my one-to-one coaching with my blogging clients, in my social media workshops with my trainees, or when I am at public speaking events.
I believe in abundance.
Go on, say it aloud to yourself. Say it to your neighbour. Say it to your loved ones and your friends.
Feels good, right?
If you start from a belief in abundance your whole attitude to competition changes.
Instead of your peers being competitors, they become collaborators. Instead of threats, they become allies. Instead of being secretive we become giving. Instead of building sides, team or armies we are building communities.
I operate from a place where I believe that I will only benefit MORE by sharing and giving abundantly to others. My industry can only be but elevated if we all work to lift each other up. To support each other. Share ideas. Give advice. Encourage. Cheerlead.
I think nothing of giving a shout-out to a peer or ‘competitor’. I think nothing of wishing them good luck with their own projects. I think nothing of celebrating their own successes, because why would that make my life any worse off?
Rather than being known for divide and conquer I would rather be known for bringing people together.
We’re all on the same team here. We work in a new industry. We are forging new ground. By being the very best that we can be and helping those around us, will only serve to create an industry worth working with.
Competition is a mind game. Or at least, it’s all in the mind. You can CHOOSE whether you think I am competition to you or not. You decide HOW you want conduct your professional life. All I can do is hope that you can find the confidence and strength to choose the path or sharing rather than the one of competition.
Because I don’t see you as competition. I see you as a peer, a collaborator and an equal.
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I’m with you on this one Elizabeth. We’re way stronger if we help each other and don’t see each other as competition.
I definitely believe there’s room for everyone in the blogging world – and if I ever felt that there isn’t, it’s because I’ve wasted too much time comparing myself to other people!
The best experiences I’ve had through blogging have come from being open, collaborative with and supportive of other bloggers.
I agree. I think there’s an awful lot of people blogging and sharing the same way you do. And tbh, they’re often the bloggers whose blogs I prefer reading, and who I’ll be more willing to share their work and advice with. A bit of give and take works in any industry and my view is that blogging as a community can only benefit by the sharing of learning, advice. The more people understand and learn from others, the better the standard of bloggers, and there’ll be an increase in reputation for the whole industry.
I totally agree. It is really important for us bloggers to all to share, communicate and pass on contacts and opportunities! I know I try wherever I can. Great post 🙂 xx
I love this post, not least because ‘Abundance’ is my word for 2016 and beyond 🙂 Competition is something that seems to come up a lot in bloggy land, and other industries sadly and is mostly driven by fear.
But if you choose a different mindset, you can absolutely enjoy the fruits of collaboration, cooperation and unity as kumbaya as that might sound 😉 I work with other bloggers not just as part of Mothers & Shakers collective, but also connecting some of our clients to other influencer and blogger networks – that might be seen as ‘competition’ but has only ever been to everyone’s benefit.
My motto is stay open, look forwards and explore all the possibilities that come your way, even the ones that might unnerve you. It’s amazing what happens when great minds collide x
Author
Agree it’s all about mindset!
I think that a level of competitiveness is great. I am insanely competitive. It doesn’t mean I am bitter if I don’t get a role and someone else does. I would like to think I am supportive and encouraging to others. I don’t put people down and I don’t bitch. I don’t see why you can’t collaborate and be competitive. I would never not work with someone because I saw them as competition. My competitiveness is one of the things which pushes me to be better at what I do. Competitiveness definitely doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
My grandma was a tiny little, lovely woman who didn’t have a bad word to say about others. When it came to the local horticulture show she was fiercely competitive though. She just liked to win. She didn’t do it at anyone’s expense, she was a good winner and a good loser. Competitiveness can be entirely healthy.
Author
I think that’s a really good perspective. Competitiveness doesn’t have to equate to meanness.
Abundance. Abundance. A Bun Dance? I love that word. Being fairly new to blogging I’m totally with you on wanting to share and learn, but I suppose I also appreciate how long people have been working and how much hard work they’ve put into things and maybe feel justified in being protective of their “babies”. I’m always attracted to those bloggers who are simply kind with their time and I know they can’t respond to everything, but don’t come across all high and mighty and will reply to a tweet or a comment on Instagram. That makes me like them and want to learn from them so much more than anyone who just ignores you because you’re not significant enough. Everyone started from somewhere I always think.
I’ve loved meeting new people and feel so grateful when anyone contacts me to work with them, hopefully long may it continue. And thank you for being so open with your advice too.
Author
A bun dance!!! Love it.
Good advice. I have only recently started blogging. I find the whole experience therapeutic. As a single adopter it is difficult sometimes to share what’s happening, blogging allows me to share. People then share their experiences and sometimes advice. We are in this together!
I think the challenge with the post is it’s conflating competition with envy. Someone being miffed that you get an ambassador opportunity they didn’t get isn’t being competitive, they’re envious. Someone keeping their contacts to themselves is insecure, but not particularly competitive (actually they’re going out of their way to avoid competition)
I’ve been doing this job for seven years and I can tell you if I’ve learned one thing, it’s that envy is part and parcel of human nature. You can’t get around it. And that’s especially true in a community of women (mothers) who are often sidelined professionally AND where the lion’s share of opportunity goes to women who are already advantaged in many ways (it’s an unfortunate truth that in all advertising-led media a particular sort of person is more attractive to brands). There isn’t a level playing field, life isn’t a meritocracy and, ooh, i could rant all night but I won’t.
Cracking post, though – loads to think about.
Author
I think you’re absolutely right there Sally. I didn’t really consider envy or insecurity as a factor. But perhaps there are different ways of interpreting the word ‘competition’. Or maybe it means different things to different people.
Life isn’t a meritocracy – so true.
There is competition within blogging but I’m with you, I’m very happy to either pass opportunities on if they aren’t right for me but know they are perfect for someone else e.g. because if location. Plus happy to provide names of those who might also be good for a campaign. I do this openly in social media or via email depending in which channel the approach comes.
I also agree with Sally that there is a lot of envy within blogging but you get that in an industry as do you insecurities.
Amen!
Well said!
Great post Elizabeth.
I think, as someone has already said, those sorts of competition always struck me as envy and insecurity. I think most of us at some time or another have felt a twinge of “why them and not me” but that is life; how you deal with it is another matter.
I think giving shout outs to others, supporting newer bloggers and just generally trying to be helpful ultimately helps us all. And some times you never know when something you did to help will come back to help you – because I think people remember those who were kind to them and it’s infectious. But you’re right, why make anyone’s life harder when you can make it easier?
Amen! I’ve been saying the same for businesses for years. The more, the merrier. There’s an audience, a reader, a client, a friend for all of us out there. We each have our unique style and there’s all kinds of people out there -how perfect is this?
Great post! Glad I found your blog through this post, specifically. 🙂