Own Your Fears: Will I Ever Get This Podcast Published?
We’re almost halfway through the year already, phew! That means my time working with AXA PPP healthcare is almost over, and I’m pleased to say I’ve made some great progress on this coaching journey in order to use my fears to live a better life.
WHAT THE PROJECT/ FEAR IS
AXA PPP healthcare asked me to work with them on their ‘Own Your Fears’ campaign, which is all about how we can change our mindset around fear.
The idea being that we can harness our fear and use it to help us grow. This campaign sounded right up my street and exactly the kind of thing I want to work with and chat about on my blog.
And so, I signed up to spend six months working with experts at AXA PPP healthcare to address one of my fears.
For these six months I share the process and my journey here on the blog as I work with these experts to work with my fear and I’ll chart exactly what effects it has on my wellbeing.
The fear I am working on is ‘Rejection’.
I chose this fear after spending time with myself sifting through my behaviour and circumstances, figuring out what is really going on in different parts of my life. And the conclusion I reach is this fear – the fear of rejection.
The fear I have of rejection is so deep-seated that it seeps out in different parts of my life. It manifests itself as acts of self-preservation. It occurs sub-consciously, only to be realised much later down the line. It weaves its way into almost every encounter I have with others.
Goal #2 – Continue with daily positive observations
Goal #3 – Continue with mindfulness practice
Goal #4 – Social goal – Set aside time each week to arrange a social activity, e.g. meeting for a coffee or even just phoning for a chat
Goal #5 – Business/social – Set aside time each week to send out invitations to take part in your new podcast
LAST MONTH’S PROGRESS
Goal #1, #2, #3 – Wellbeing, positivity and mindfulness
These activities work really well for me still. I find that by assigning specific times every more for an activity that focuses on my wellbeing, whether it is swimming, reading, yoga, or meditation, really shapes the day for me. I notice on the days when I don’t do it that I find it harder to be productive, my mind wanders more, sometimes my mood is lower, and I generally just don’t feel as ‘oomph-y’.
Goal #4 – Social activity
Again, I’m finding it good to have a goal set to think about arranging social activities. As I tend to shy away from socialising much these days, it really does help actively thinking about it.
Goal #5 – Business / social – invite people onto podcast
This goal I did really well with. I started to reach out to a few people to interview for my podcast. One of the first people outside my friendship group who I messaged came back with a no, which was initially hard. Before I’d have taken it personally as a rejection. But I told myself that it was about them and their life and not a reflection on me. So I persevered and invited a few more people to interview. I had a few yes replies and got recording 4 interviews so far. I’m so pleased with how they turned out, and I loved to chatting to these brilliant people.
Goal #1 – Continue with daily wellbeing time
Same as before. My coach suggest planning ahead for the week so I know which wellbeing activity I will be doing each day and can tick it off the calendar as I complete them.
Another idea was to put a marble/pebble in a jar each day I complete a wellbeing activity and then have a reward for when the jar is full.
Goal #2 – Positive Daily Observations
Same as before.
Goal #3 – Socialise
Same as before.
Goal #4 – Publish podcast
The final goal is a biggie for me. It’s the ultimate ‘putting myself out there’ and as this podcast has been brewing in my mind for 2 years it’s kind of built up in my head. Of course, I know that podcast audiences can take time to grow, but there is the fear that no-one will listen. However, I know I have something to share, and I am super positive of the ideas I have for this podcast, I really do feel they can make a difference.
Now, I just need to figure out all the tech stuff and get publishing!
HOW DO I FEEL?
I feel good. This process, the goals, the monthly phone call with the coach … it has encouraged me to feel more mindful and motivated. I feel my confidence coming back, and I know I am making good progress.
Each month of this process is encouraging me to push through the fear of rejection, to reframe it, and to move forward with my own goals. I’ve started to see shifts in mindset and long-term I think that will make the world of difference.
That’s not to say I don’t have my down moments. I do. But I’m able to catch myself quicker. I am able to notice my negative thoughts patterns and start replacing them with some techniques I’ve been implementing with this process.
I feeling optimistic for the future!
And fingers crossed I get this podcast launched ASAP!