1. A secret Pinterest board is not a sufficient planning tool.
2. Yes, £20,000 is actually a normal, average price for a wedding.
3. You will become so overwhelmed with decisions-to-make that your brain will turn to mush.
4. You are expected to organise a large scale event, with little previous experience, including the people you care about most in the world, for the one and only time you get married and you have to do it ‘right’.
5. You think you want a small shindig until you start writing the guest-list.
6. 200 people later…
7. Suddenly you have an opinion on lace, satin, silk, organza and all other kinds of fabrics.
8. Chair covers will never look good.
9. How much for a cake?!
10. You wish somebody else can make the hard decisions for you … but then you realise they’ll also charge a premium as well.
11. Couples plan two years in advance for good reason … this shiz is EXPENSIVE!
12. You think “oh…. I’ll just go with the cheap option and just stick a tent up in a field and have a laid-back kind of wedding….” – Then you look at prices for tipis and marquees and realise it’s cheaper to hire a hotel!
13. You seriously consider eloping.
14. You wonder whether engagement parties are necessary? Do I need one? What if I don’t have one? Are they even a thing anymore?
15. You suddenly become an expert on barns, fields for hire, hotels, manor houses, and all kinds of potential wedding venues.
16. A venue quotes you a £2k corkage charge and you no longer flinch.
17. You decide it’s probably cheaper not to have any friends. Good job really …
18. You consider elopement again.
19. You have spreadsheets for EVERYTHING. There’s even a spreadsheet for your spreadsheets.
20. Everyone has an opinion or a piece of advice for you.
21. But apparently you should just ‘do whatever is important to you’…. whatever that is? Who even knows?
22. No matter how hard you try to make a decision your brain gives up and makes for the nearest exit.
23. Better start a new spreadsheet…
Go on, give me your best wedding advice! I dare ya!